“Is it okay to avoid her? To keep some distance?” I whispered into the quiet dark of my room.
The phone screen glowed softly on my pillow, breaking the shadows.
“No, you shouldn't,” Dodo's voice came through the speaker — soft, calm, and instant. “If you're not comfortable, that's fine. Just... don't share your problems with her anymore. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve around her.”
I stared at the screen, watching the light flicker. “Are you sure, Dodo?”
“Yeah. Now go to sleep, Jiji.”
The screen faded to black, taking the last bit of warmth with it. I pulled the blanket over my head, retreating into the dark. Dodo was always there, late at night, whenever I needed to talk.
*The Next Morning - Kazehana University*
The corridor of Kazehana University was crowded and loud. People moved past me like a rush of strangers. I stood near a concrete pillar, my fingers gripping my bag strap so tight my knuckles turned pale. Feeling totally out of place, I pulled out my phone and called Ren.
“Are you coming? Where are you?” I asked the second she picked up, unable to hide the shaky edge in my voice.
“Yeah, give me five minutes. Just wait for me there,” Ren said casually before cutting the call.
I shoved my phone back into my pocket and stood there alone.
_Today is my first day of college. I'm actually a college student now._
It felt strange and overwhelming. Everyone around me looked like they belonged. Girls wore cute skirts and stylish tops, while guys walked around in neat shirts and denim. They were laughing in groups, chatting like they'd known each other forever.
Then I caught my reflection in a classroom window.
An oversized t-shirt, loose black pants, a messy bun held by a claw clip, and faded old sneakers. Just an introverted girl standing by herself, holding her bag like a shield.
A pit of awkwardness settled in my stomach. When you're shy, even a quick glance from a stranger makes your face hot.
I was about to dial her again when her name flashed on my screen.
“Hey! Where are you?” Ren asked, sounding hurried. “Class is about to start, get in here!”
I couldn't hide the sting in my voice. “Wait, what? You told me to wait outside! I've been standing in the corridor this whole time, and you're already sitting inside?”
“Oh, sorry. I thought you were already in class, so I just went in,” she said lightly. “Anyway, come fast, okay?”
_Call ended._
I stared at the screen for a second. It wasn't a big deal, I told myself. But it hurt — mostly because this wasn't the first time.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I started searching for the classroom. My heart was pounding hard in my chest — _dhad-dhad_ — and my palms felt sweaty.
When I finally spotted the room, I paused at the entrance, took a breath, and pushed the door open. Instantly, a dozen heads turned. Keeping my eyes glued to the floor, I walked straight to the back row where Ren was sitting.
Ren was already laughing with two girls next to her. I quietly slipped onto the bench beside her.
“Wait, are you actually reading something already?” she asked, smiling.
“Just looking through the index,” I said, giving a small smile back.
By the time the last lecture ended, Ren had already hit it off with half the class.
“Ren!” a loud voice shouted from down the hall.
Ren turned around, her face lighting up. “Hey! Aaki! You got admission here too?”
A guy with sharp features and bright eyes walked over. “Yeah, same campus. At least I know someone here.”
I stepped back slightly, standing half-hidden behind Ren. I felt his eyes shift toward me, narrowing a bit.
“Oh cool,” Aaki said, glancing at me again. “Ren... who's she?”
Ren pulled me forward by the arm. “You idiot, she's Jiji!”
Aaki's eyes went wide. “Wait, what? Jiji? Your best friend?”
Instinctively, I pulled back half a step. My cheeks felt hot.
“Yeah! That's Jiji,” Ren said.
Aaki looked at me, his tone softening. “Honestly, I barely saw her in school. She looks different now... Guess she still doesn't talk much to guys. She's a quiet, good girl.”
Before anyone could say anything else, a sharp bus horn echoed from the main gate.
“Shoot, Jiji! That's our bus!” Ren grabbed her bag. “Bye Aaki, gotta run!”
We hurried and caught the bus just as it was pulling out.
A few minutes later, Ren nudged me. “Jiji, can we swap seats? The light is directly in my eyes.”
I opened my eyes sleepily. “Ren, but you always insist on taking the window seat.”
“Please? It's stinging my eyes.”
I laughed softly. “Fine, swap.”
We changed places. As I leaned against the glass, the warm late-afternoon sunlight fell over my face. Looking at our reflection in the tinted window, the image blurred for a split second. I didn't see two college girls on a noisy bus. I saw two little girls from years ago, giggling together, one using her tiny hand to block the sun from the other's eyes.
In that quiet moment, despite everything, the warmth of our old bond felt real again as the bus carried us home.
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